Economic Stimulus Explained

[Ettoo]

Iam sure most of you have seen this but it is funny

"Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers."

"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers."

"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?"
"A. No, they are borrowing it from China . Your children are expected to repay the Chinese."

"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy."

"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?"
"A. Shut up."


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs, Al Qaida, Kazakhstan , Azerbaijan , all countries who could not manage their way to the toilet.

If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan .

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras , Guatemala and Vietnam (unless you buy organic, but that maybe from China ).

If you buy a car it will go to Japan , Korea and be bonuses for the Big Three board members that already earn seven figures.

If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India .

If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan , cocaine to the Colombians and marijuana to the Mexicans and Canadians.

If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria .

You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales or going to a ball game, or you can spend it on women of ill repute, domestic liquor and beer or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US .

[Actovision]

The first part is pure republican platform, but the second part seems to be a pretty accurate portrayal of globalization.

[Zepp]

Nothing wrong with spending my dolla billz on women of ill repute.

[Xellos]

Not like you have to spend any bills now considering your work.

[Ettoo]

I just posted it cuase i liked the last part about the women of ilrepute.
although I wil say i am looking forward to the Ronald regean movie that is coming to DVD. lie him or hate him it will be a good movie worth seeing from a historical point.