Best Joke Ever

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Varnek
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Re: Best Joke Ever

Post by Varnek » Sun Nov 15, 2009 3:57 pm

See, there were these two horses. They grew up in the same barn, they ate the same hay- they were like two peas in a pod, which is really hard for two horses to do.

One day, a big series of races came up, and the second horse walked over to the first horse and said, "Hey, man- I need you to do me a huge favor. You always beat me by just a little bit, and, well, my owner is threatening to send me off to the glue factory if I don't win at least one race today. I mean, we grew up in the same barn, ate the same hay- we were like two peas in a pod, which is really hard for two horses to do. You gotta help me out man!"

The first horse replied, "Of course I'll help you! I mean, we grew up in the same barn, we ate the same hay- we were like two peas in a pod, which is really hard for two horses to do. I promise, you'll win the first race."

Well, it comes around time to run the first race, and the horses line up at the gate. The gate goes up, the gun goes off, and they're a here and a there and a here and a there and the first horse wins!

The second horse comes over and says, "Hey, I thought you were going to let me win that one. I mean, we grew up in the same barn, we ate the same hay- we were like two peas in a pod, which is really hard for two horses to do."

The first horse apologizes. "I was just so excited, with the gate, the gun, the here, the there. I'm so sorry. We grew up in the same barn, we ate the same hay- we were like two peas in a pod, which is really hard for two horses to do. I promise, you'll win the second race."

So the horses line up at the gate for the second race. The gate goes up, the gun goes off, and they're a here and a there and a here and a there and the first horse wins, AGAIN!

Now, the second horse is getting a little upset. He storms over and shouts at the first horse, "We grew up in the same barn, we ate the same hay- we were like two peas in a pod, which is really hard for two horses to do. I thought we had a deal! I thought we were friends!"

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," the first horse said. "It was just, the jockey was whipping my ass so hard, and there was this cute filly in the stable I was showing off for, and- I'm so sorry. We grew up in the same barn, we ate the same hay- we were like two peas in a pod, which is really hard for two horses to do, and you know I'd do anything for you. I promise, you'll win this last race."

"I'd better."

So the horses line up at the gate for the third and final race. The gate goes up, the gun goes off, and they're a here and a there and a here and a there and the first horse wins, AGAIN!

The second horse has had it. He storms over into the Winner's Circle and punches the first horse. "We grew up in the same barn! We ate the same hay! We were like two peas in a pod, which is really hard for two horses to do! This is what I get for years of friendship? Well screw you too!" And the second horse jumps into his Mustang convertible and drives off.

"Oh no!" cries the first horse. "My best friend! We grew up in the same barn, we ate the same hay- we were like two peas in a pod, which is really hard for two horses to do! I've got to do something!" And he leaps into his fuel-efficient hybrid and goes tearing off after the second horse.

Their manager the dog shouts out, "Stop! No! Those were my two best horses! They grew up in the same barn, they ate the same hay, they were like two peas in a pod, which is really hard for two horses to do! I have to stop them." He leaps into his Greyhound bus and peals out after them.

And they're a here and a there and a here and a there and a here and the second horse is running out of gas. So he pulls his Mustang convertible off to the side of the road and leaps out. He bolts for a nearby cliff to end it all. The first horse leaps out of his fuel-efficient hybrid and chases after him. And they start fighting at the edge of the cliff. "We grew up in the same barn, we ate the same hay- we were like two peas in a pod, which is really hard for two horses to do!" the first horse yells. "I can't let you do this."

The Greyhound bus screeches to a halt and the dog leaps out. "Stop the insanity!" he screams.

The two horses stop fighting, in shock. The first horse turns to the second and says, "Hey look, a talking dog."
Tassadar
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Re: Best Joke Ever

Post by Tassadar » Sun Nov 15, 2009 7:31 pm

Varnek wrote: He leaps into his Greyhound bus and peals out after them.
thats one fast bus
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Palin wrote:but he leaves a really bad taste in my mouth
Shearokal (8:36:38 PM): das right, cause we niggas gotta stick together
Hirokal : NOOOOOO! I love Tass :(
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